Ladybug - Part III

Heroes and Heroin Do you ever look back during certain moments in your life where you know that moment changed your whole being - deep down to your core? Did you know it then? Did you know how much of an impact those moments would have on the rest of your life? I certainly didn't know at the time, when I was a homeless drug addict living on the streets in Charlestown, MA, that anything good could come from my experiences. How could I when I wasn't even sure I would survive. If you saw me today you wouldn't know that I hold this secret past life. I'm a wife. I'm a college graduate. I'm just like you, I bet. You wouldn't know that I wasted time in places that I wish I could forget. That every day as a heroin addict meant a day I spent doing things that I knew were wrong like lying, cheating, and stealing. Days of winter that seemed a little bit colder with no place to go at night. Days where my only mission was to get high enough to be able to close my eyes at night; numbed from the dope only to wake up and do it all over again to stop the withdrawal. Thankfully, I wasn't alone. There were others just like me who used needles and poison to make the pain go away. See, the reason addicts stick together is not for the hustle that most people think. Its not because it's easier to lie, cheat, and/or steal with a partner. It's because we can relate to the world that we thrust ourselves into. We can relate to being helpless against a drug that had complete control over our mind and our bodies. We can relate to each other's need to numb ourselves so much that whatever we are running away from is far behind us - at least for the moment. . Those I “ran with” (ie: did drugs and hustled with) took me in their group and showed me how to survive. They were my heroin heroes. They taught me that hallways in the Charlestown projects were warmer than a car with no heat and a busted window. They taught me to stash clean needles in a pencil case in random places so I would always have one near. Those people taught me the rules of the streets and how to make it through one day at a time. Because in the end that's all any of us wanted really; to survive.

Anonymous

Please visit Ladybugs - Part I & Ladybugs Part II