Can Buy Me Love

I saw several old friends this weekend and when I mentioned the fact that I'm a yoga nazi many asked if I was going to teach. I gave half-assed responses like, "No, but I would like to." I stopped short at the reason why I'm not doing the teacher training. I simply didn't want to admit I was broke. Pathetic but true.

I have no problem admitting any of my other faults but this one is very hard to reveal to friends, never mind on this blog. But I'm doing so because I know there are others out there who can not do what they truly love because they can't afford to do so. Luckily for the truly disadvantaged (not me at all, I'm broke but have everything and more than I need) have scholarships now. But still, so many are stuck in dead end jobs or don't have one and it all boils down to money, sadly.

I took for granted that my parents were able to pay for my college education but at my age, there is no room for asking them for the $3,000 it costs. I know they would be willing to help me with childcare but I can't ask for anything more than that. Childcare alone is a lot to ask. If I only knew back in 1999 what I know now, I could have saved them a lot of money and me a lot of time.

A friend of mine suggested setting up a Go Fund Me page but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like those should be reserved for cancer patients and the poor, not us middle of the road people who have issues but not problems. I won't beg for it. Then, there I go, having lower middle class guilt about how much better I have it than other people. It's yet another tight rope I feel I'm walking across right now; balancing the awareness of others struggles while still putting value on my own.

Maybe it's a New England-er thing too. Nothing bothers me more than admitting I need help. I once went to a store and my card wasn't going through so the employee said I could just pay the three dollars the next time I came in. Well, I immediately went to the ATM and got the money out to give him and went back. It was a huge pain in the butt but I couldn't help it. I knew that when I got home I would feel like crap OVER THREE DOLLARS. It's pretty stupid. Most of the people I know are the same way. It's just our mentality.

So when I was cleaning my house with my music pumping through my ear buds, "Can't Buy Me Love" came on and I said to myself, "No The Beatles. You are wrong." Because yoga is what I love and if I want to spread the love, then I need to buy it. I've been practicing off and on since 1996 and would make a pretty bad ass instructor (or guide as I would call myself) so while you can't buy me romantic love, you can definitely buy this kind. Keep your fingers crossed for me that I will remember to buy a lottery ticket (I always forget) and win. Until then I will be singing;

"I care way too much for money, Money can buy me love. Can buy me laa-ove. America tells me so."

Melissa Sue Vieira

Co-Founder of Storytellers:  The Collective

Melissa wears many hats.  
Some are super colorful and some are dark, just like her stories.  

She is a mother, friend, writer, survivor, warrior, yogi, listener, talker 
and a lover of all things art.