Mechanics, Sexism and Me

When you are five foot one and three fourths inches tall (my license says 5'2") and fairly young looking and kind of social friendly and awkward at the same time, mechanics are going to take advantage of you. Not all, of course. I have a place that is amazing and has treated me with nothing but respect and honesty but I was shaking in my boots when he told me I had to go to the dealership to fix my problem.

They saw me coming from a mile away, with my dickies bag that dates back to 1997 (those motherfuckers were made to last) and messy hair and tattoos and all the other goofy ass shit I do or wear.

My last car gave me so much trouble, I got to learn a major lesson. Always, always, always take a man with you. Or your incredibly amazing female friend who will call them on their bullshit because she actually knows what she's talking about. But unfortunately I did not have these essential people with me during this last experience.

I was berated for no good reason. Not listened to. Not taken seriously. And it sucked.

There were so many things I wanted to say to the man who so utterly pissed me off that I wish I could do it but I won't. It's not right but I will tell you. I wanted to say:

"I'd try to get you fired but on the off chance you found a woman to procreate with and the even smaller chance you actually feed your kids, my morals won't let me."

"A man has never made me feel tall in my entire life."

"Your face sucks."

"I wouldn't even have to lift my arm to punch you in your sucky face."

"You must be a descendant of Napoleon Bonaparte."

"Is your middle name Prick?"

And a bunch of other stuff. I know in my heart that if I were 6'3" and male, he would not have spoken to me the way he did. That's why I almost always believe people when they think they were treated unfairly because of color, race, gender, sexual orientation, etc... because once you definitely have, like there is absolute proof of prejudice, you know what it looks and feels like when it happens again.

Because there is no way for me to ever prove that this man was thinking, "It's okay to treat her like shit, she's just a little girl," but I just know it.

It may not sound like it, but there only one other time that a man tried to con me and I've let myself get this upset. That was not a mechanic so it's not just car guys. But the two instances wouldn't have happened if I weren't me. I had been judged because I have a vagina before but these two instances were so blatant, that I have had to make an effort to remind myself that those dickheads are people too. Maybe the sucky faced guy's mom just died or something awful like that. Not excusing it but you never know and keeping that in mind makes it easier to accept and move on.

To be treated differently for who you are, what you look like or even just how you "seem" can feel like an arrow shot into your soul and that is where the outrage comes from. It comes from your soul. Soul rage has power if used in the right way, be it trying to prevent just one other person from having to go through the same thing or organizing a peaceful protest with hundreds of participants, these are the instances where anger is a good thing.

I can only imagine what the Trayvon Martin's and Michael Brown's, Matthew Sheppard's, Kristina Gomez's and so many others around the world had/have gone through.

And just like the above mentioned, there are way too many to list all the women who have died simply because they were women. Every single day, women are beat by their husbands/boyfriends because they think they can. Every day women are getting paid lower wages for doing the same work as their males counterparts. Many men can bring sexism to it's highest degree and turn himself into misogynist. Ted Bundy is a classic example.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not man shaming. I love men. Always have. A lot of times, I have an easier time talking to men. One of my closest friends in the entire world has a penis. I'm not a hater but I am a realist. And I am a woman. And I've been treated like shit because of it.

While this was the worst experience I have ever had with sexism so far, and it severely pales in comparison to what others have been through, it was yet another reminder that sexism is alive and well and always will be.

Melissa Vieira

Co-Founder of Storytellers:  The Collective

Melissa wears many hats. Some are super colorful and some are dark just like her stories. She is a mother, a friend, a writer, a survivor, a warrior, a yogi, a listener, a talker and a lover of all things art.